Here are some funny one-liners – some seen, some new –
1) The difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.
2) Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers.
3) A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
4) Archaeologist: someone whose career lies in ruins.
5) An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
6) There are two kinds of people who don’t say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.
7) They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who’s in a hurry ?
8) My girlfriend asked me, “Do You believe in love at first sight”? I said, “At the first sight of what”?
9) Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive
10) One nice thing about egotists: They don’t talk about other people.
11) There was a man who said, “I never knew what happiness was until I got married…and then it was too late
12) Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the ‘Y’ becomes silent.