Hansa : Praful “Decide” matlab ?
Praful : “Decide” Hansa … vo Casettee player mein hum casettee nahi dalte usme hota hai na …. “A side” — “B side” …. toa “C-side” … “D- side” —> “Decide”

Mature
Hansa : Mature matlab ????
praful: jab apna mahesh…chori karte hue pakda gaya tha.. tab usne kya kaha tha ?????
hansa: usne kaha tha.. mujhe chodd do.. “MAIN CHOR NAHI HOON”
main chor …main chor….mature. ..acha acha….

alphabet
hansa: praful alphabet matlab
praful: alphabet hansa,local train mein safar karte hoye maasi jaise hi koi seat khali dekhti hai to wo apni beti alpha se kya kehti hai?
hansa: alpha beth seat pe,alpha beth,acha toh yeh alphabet

Asset
Hansa : Prafulll “Asset” matlab ???
Praful : Asset Hansaaa ….
Jab hum gaadi mein jaate hai and jab gaadi signal par rukti hai …. taab vo bhikari log aa kar kya bolte hai …
“Aee Seth… thoda paisa do naa” … “Eee Sethh … ” … Asset ..

Depend
Hansa : Yeh Depend kya hota hai Prafful??
Prafful : Depend Hansa… wo Swimming Pool mein ek taraf to paani kam gehra hota hai, aur dusri side zyada gehra… Deep-End.. Depend

TOURNAMENT
HANSA:- ae he he PRAFUL, TOURNAMENT MATLAB
PRAFUL:- TOURNAMENT HANSA!!! YE JO TUMNE JHUMKE PEHNE HAIN, GEHNE PEHNE HAIN INKO ENGLISH ME KYA KEHTE HAIN, BOLO BOLO!!
HANSA:- AAA HAN HAN TOURNAMENT, (HANSA KHUSH)

MELISA:-(CHIDH KAR)ARE USE TOURNAMENT NAHI ORNAMENT KEHTE HAIN
HANSA:- ARE KUCHH BHI MAT BOLLL
EK JHHUMKA — ORNAMENT
DO JHHUMKE — TWO ORNAMENT# #TOURNAMENT
AE PRAFUL!! YE MELISA KO BHI BABUJI KI TARAH KUCHH BHI NAHI ATAA

elastic
Hansa: Praful elastic matlab??
Praful: Elastic Hansa…
apni voh radha ben unki beti ila …
usko jab fracture hua tha to voh kya leke chalti thi??
Hansa : Ila to…
Ila-stick leke …
Ila-stick !! Ila-stick!!!

Manager asked sardar at an interview : Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar replyed : P-O-S-T-B-O- X.

After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife : Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife : No! Why?
Sardar : In London a lady asked me R U a foreigner?

One tourist from U.S.A. asked Sardar : Any great man born in this village???
Sardar : no sir, only small Babies!!!

Lecturer : write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
Sardar writes, “Gandi was a great man, but I don’t know who is Jayanthi. “

When sardar was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver adjusted the mirror.
Sardar shouted, “You are trying to see my wife? Sit behind. I will drive.

Interviewer : just imagine youare on the3rd floor, it caught fire and how will you escape?
Sardar : its simple. I will stop my imagination! !!

Sardar : My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.

Sardar: I think that girl is deaf..
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new

Friend: I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife!
Sardar: Wow!!! That’s an unbelievable exchange offer!!!

Teacher: Which is the oldest animal in world?
Sardar: ZEBRA
Teacher: How?
Sardar: Bcoz it is Black & White

Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.
Manager: Do U know MS Office?
Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.

Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: ” Bombay … Bombay “
Air hostess said: “B silent.”
Sardar: “Ok.. Ombay. Ombay”

Teacher: “What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?”
Sardar: “All are born on government holidays…! !!

Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE

Sardar declares:
…. . . I will never marry in my life &. . .
. . . I’ll give same advice to my children also. . . .. .

A donkey kicked a Sardar & ran away
Sardar ran to catch the donkey.
He saw a zebra & started beating it & said ‘SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka
de raha hai’.

Sardar: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml
now it’s 2 ltr.

Santa went to Mysore palace.
Tourist guide – Santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan’s chair
Santa – Oye dont worry yaar i’ll get up when he comes…!!…

Sardar wanted to make a STD call to punjab,
He wanted to save money so what did he do?
Simple, he went to punjab and made a local call..

One tourist from U.S.A.asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village?
Sardar: No sir, only small babies!!!

Teacher: A for?
Sardar: Apple
Teacher: Jor se bolo?
Sardar: Jay mata di..

2 sardars were fighting after exam.
Sir: Y r u fighting?
1st Sardar: This fool left the answer sheet blank,
Sir: So what?
1st Sardar: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both
copied.

Sardar 1: I’m very kanjoos, I went 2 honeymoon alone & saved 1/2 money.
Sardar 2: You R nothing I saved all my money, my friend was going & I sent
my wife with him.

Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, and
says, “chal”, it walks.
He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, “chal” , it walks.
He cuts all the legs and said, “chal……” Finally he wrote the
conclusion……..
….. “after all the legs of a cockroach are cut – it becomes deaf…….”

A Tamilian call up sardar and asks ” tamil therima??”
Sardar got mad, angrily replied…. “Hindi tera baap!!!”
2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written…BC 1760!!!….

A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective.
Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?
Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating………

A scene from Kohn Benega Crorepati….
Amitabh : In which state Cauvery flows?
Sardar : Liquid state…..
Audience clapped… Amitabh stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS……

Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India ….
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What ‘which part’? Whole body was born in India ..

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.

Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with ‘T’.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue u’ve broken..
Sardar: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Sardar: Control yourself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head.. Is he crying?
Sardar: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u..
Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is ‘All India Radio! ‘

NOW THE LAST TWO ULTIMATE:
In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. …..
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup….

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king’s skeleton.
Tourist: Who’s that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king’s skeleton when he was a child.

1. Apni Biwi ko apni 100% kamai dene se 10% Sukh milta hai. Kisi doosri ko apni kamai ka 10% dene pe 100% sukh milta hai 
… Paisa apka … Faisla apka …. Jaago Graahak Jaago !!!

2. “ Funny but true fact !! A woman worries about her future till she gets a husband, A man never worries about his future until he gets a wife !! ..What do u say?

3. A Man before marriage is – Superman. After Marriage – Gentleman. 5 years Later – Watchman. 10 Years later – Apne Hi Jaal Mein fasaa hua Spiderman.

4. Life me hamesha Haste raho,muskrate raho, gaate raho, gungunate raho… taki tumhe dekh kar hi log samaj jaye k tum… ” UNMARRIED” ho.

5. Wife- agar main kho gayi to tum kya karoge?
Husband – main TV aur newspaper mein Ad dunga ki jaha kahin bhi ho….. 
KHUSH RAHO

6. Why love marriage is better dan Arranged???? B’coz a “KNOWN DEVIL” is better dan an “UNKNOWN GHOST”.

7. Wife: main tumhari yaad mein 2O din mein hi aadhi ho gayi hoon, mujhe lene kab aa rahe ho?
HUSBAND: 2O din aur ruk jaao.

8. A man gave an add in Matrimonial column 
“PATNI CHAHIYE”
He got 1000 replies all saying:- 
“ Meri Le Ja…!” 
”Meri Le Ja…!”

9. Husband to Hotel Manager: “Jaldi chalo! meri biwi khidki se kud kar jaan dena chahti hai”
Manager: “What can I do?
Husband”Kamine, khidki nahi khul rahi hai.”

10. Telling a lie is a 
fault for a little boy, 
an art for a lover, 
an accomplishment for a bachelor and a Matter of Survival for a married man

There was a sardarji who was down on his luck. In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. He went to a playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, “I’ve kidnapped you.” 

Sardarji then wrote a note saying: “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put Rs.2,00,000 in a paper bag and put it beneath the mango tree on the north side of the city playground”. Undersigned: “A sardarji”. 

Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning he checked, and sure enough a paper bag was kept beneath the mango tree. The boy was sitting next to the bag. Sardarji opened up the bag and found the Rs.2,00,000 in cash with a note saying, “How can a sardarji do this to a fellow sardarji? Take the money, and please leave my son.” Undersigned: “Another sardarji”.

Sardar : I hav’nt slept all nite in the train. 
Friend :  Why
Sardar : Got upper berth. 
Friend:  Whyu did’nt u  exchange
Sardar : oye, there was nobody  to exchange in the lower birth >

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A Teacher lecturing on population – In India after Every 10 sec a woman
gives birth to a kid.

A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.

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Teacher: “I killed a person” convert this sentence into future tense. 
Sardar: The future tense is “u will go to jail”.

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Sardar gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the
branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Srdr:”I’ve been promoted as
branch manager.”

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One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college. U knw Why? 
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking…

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Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It”s already
raining. Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.

**********************************************************
Sardar was writing something very slowly. 
Friend asked:” Why r u writing so slowly? 
Sardar: “I’m writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can’t read very fast.

*********************************************************

A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the 
morning. Sardarji replied ”Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM”.

*********************************************************
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. 
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.

Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.

It is ‘U R STANDNG ON D OXYGEN TUBE!”

A Mother had 3 virgin daughters.

They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would
get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.

The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding.

The card said nothing but: “Nescafe”!

Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to her kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar.

Nescafe Rich Blend Coffee, 475g It said: “Good till the last drop”.

Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.

The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: “Rothmans”

Mom now knew to go straight to her husband’s cigarettes, and she read from the pack:

“Extra Long. King Size”

She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.

The third girl left for her honeymoon in Cape Town. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another
week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived. Written on it with
shaky handwriting were the words “Air Pacific”

Mom took out her latest Fiji Living magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found
the ad for AP.
The ad said:

“Ten times a day, seven days a week, both ways.”

Mom fainted!.

Last night Harry and wife were sitting in the living room, talking about life…
In-between, they talked about the idea of living or dying.

He said to her: Darling never let me live in a vegetative state, totally dependent on machines and liquids from a
bottle. If you see me in that state

I want you to disconnect all the contraptions that are keeping me alive, I’d much rather die’.

His wife got up from the sofa with this real look of admiration towards him….and proceeded to disconnect the
TV, the Cable, the Dish, the DVD, the Computer, the Cell Phone, the iPod, and the Xbox, and then went to the bar and
threw away all his whisky, rum, gin, vodka and the beer in the fridge…

He ALMOST DIED!!

The 2 morals of this story are:
1. Think about what you wish for..
2. The female brain works on a different wavelength from
the male’s.